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I’m not sure if this is going to be like the classic memorial that I post when people pass. To be honest, I’m pretty disheartened by his passing. But, with all the memorials posted out there, the open letter to him already published, and the hundreds of thousands of devastated fans, what more do I really have to offer that hasn’t already been said?

My first encounter with Phil Hoffman was in 1996 when he portrayed Dusty in Twister. I loved Dusty. His character reminded me of my cousin, John, if he were a storm chaser. Because that’s exactly how my cousin really is. He would be the “caboose”, with a speaker on the roof blaring music down the road and screaming out the window with the thrill of the chase. And when Aunt Meg’s house was destroyed, my cousin John would react just as Dusty did. With overwhelming concern, rushing into danger to get his treasured friend out of harms way. Among other things, the movie actually made me interested in storm chasing and for a time in my life I toyed with the idea of chasing storms for a living.

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Myself and my cousin John at my wedding. Photo Credit: C Cross Photography

My cousin John is probably my favorite relative of them all, aside from my parents (of course.) He’s just like me, one of the oddballs in the family. I’m pretty sure that he and I are the only ones in the family that chose a living dealing with the arts. I’m a Theatrical Technician, John is a Musician. We understand each other.

But I digress. Phil Hoffman was a formidable actor. He could play the goofball, the good guy, the bad guy, the every man. He was especially good at the villain character.

And in the end, he’ll be very missed on the silver screen. I was very excited to hear he would be playing Plutarch Heavensbee in The Hunger Games movies. His performance was exactly as I had imagined the character in my head while reading the series. I thought he was perfect. I’m also very excited to see the next two installments of the final book and how the film makers deal with the loss of this actor.

But, that’s really all I have to add on the subject. I could go on and on and on about what actually killed this actor. Addiction is a thing I understand from an outsiders perspective only. I have stories upon stories to share. So much information I learned the hard way, watching friends make the same mistake over and over again. But I, myself, I’ve never struggled with an addiction to the degree that Phil Hoffman had. I only know what I saw in a three-year span of time with a former addict that was a part of my life. I only know what it looks like to be a friend of someone slowly killing themselves. And that, my friends, is a story I’m not ready to tell.

This post has been submitted to February 2014 NaBloPoMo. NaBloPoMo is a month-long challenge to post once a day on your blog, hosted by Blogher.

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